Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Down the Bat Pole to WallyWorld: A Geek's Tale

So I stopped by WalMart today on my way from one of my work locations to another - the only reason I go there is to look for toys. For some reason I've found that its the retailer I have the most luck with, (home of McQuarrie Concept Star Wars action figures!) and this particular 'Mart is kind of away from scalping eyes. Anyway, I had heard that the new 1/50 wave of Bat-vehicles from the fine folk at Hot Wheels/Mattelwere hitting the Wally shelves and I felt lucky today -- turns out the ol' Spidey-sense was hitting the high notes as I stumbled upon the aforementioned Bat-vehicles. First I espied an empty cardboard dump/display for them, then saw a down-on-one-knee employee unpacking in another aisle, then the plastic and metal crack themselves over by the action figures (not the Hot Wheels section). Checking myself and realizing I had little to no shame or scruples left in me, I approached the employee, sheepishly, sheepishly.

"Excuse me," say I, head bowed, reverential. "I hate to be a geek about it -- but do you have any more of these?" I held up the 1/50 Bat-cycle from the 1966 Batman show, it clearly being cool but not the 1/50 Batmobile I was really looking for.

The employee smiled up at me, knowingly, judging me for geek-ness. Was I only funning him or was I truly a geek? So many had approached His Holiness, but never admitting said geek-ness in such an up-front manner.

"No," he said. "That's all that's left."

I stammered that there was an empty dump, seemingly just unpacked, and, and, and... Alas, he was a wall. A brick wall. Another Wally soldier, a bulwark against middle-aged geeks such as myself, admitted or otherwise. The sacred wafers-with-wheels had long been unpacked and rifled through by other pilgrims. Hosannah.

I grasped my Bat-cycle to my bosom, happy that I had at least something to show for my digression to the holy playing fields of Elysium - known here on Midgard as WalMart.

I am richer for it.

2 comments:

Abstractharmony said...

I love tales like this Jimbo. My all time favourite response from the staff zombies is "We only have what's on the shelves...'.

Liars!

Damn, stinking Liars!!!!

Jim Beard said...

Thanks, Abby ;-}