Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Down the Bat Pole to WallyWorld: A Geek's Tale

So I stopped by WalMart today on my way from one of my work locations to another - the only reason I go there is to look for toys. For some reason I've found that its the retailer I have the most luck with, (home of McQuarrie Concept Star Wars action figures!) and this particular 'Mart is kind of away from scalping eyes. Anyway, I had heard that the new 1/50 wave of Bat-vehicles from the fine folk at Hot Wheels/Mattelwere hitting the Wally shelves and I felt lucky today -- turns out the ol' Spidey-sense was hitting the high notes as I stumbled upon the aforementioned Bat-vehicles. First I espied an empty cardboard dump/display for them, then saw a down-on-one-knee employee unpacking in another aisle, then the plastic and metal crack themselves over by the action figures (not the Hot Wheels section). Checking myself and realizing I had little to no shame or scruples left in me, I approached the employee, sheepishly, sheepishly.

"Excuse me," say I, head bowed, reverential. "I hate to be a geek about it -- but do you have any more of these?" I held up the 1/50 Bat-cycle from the 1966 Batman show, it clearly being cool but not the 1/50 Batmobile I was really looking for.

The employee smiled up at me, knowingly, judging me for geek-ness. Was I only funning him or was I truly a geek? So many had approached His Holiness, but never admitting said geek-ness in such an up-front manner.

"No," he said. "That's all that's left."

I stammered that there was an empty dump, seemingly just unpacked, and, and, and... Alas, he was a wall. A brick wall. Another Wally soldier, a bulwark against middle-aged geeks such as myself, admitted or otherwise. The sacred wafers-with-wheels had long been unpacked and rifled through by other pilgrims. Hosannah.

I grasped my Bat-cycle to my bosom, happy that I had at least something to show for my digression to the holy playing fields of Elysium - known here on Midgard as WalMart.

I am richer for it.


Anonymous said...

I love tales like this Jimbo. My all time favourite response from the staff zombies is "We only have what's on the shelves...'.


Damn, stinking Liars!!!!

Jim Beard said...

Thanks, Abby ;-}